3 Steps Back

I spent this week working in the mountains. I had an amazing week, really. I worked a lot of hours, I got to spend a lot of time hanging out with friends, and I had amazing spiritual times with God. I felt like when I got back, things would be so much better with my Mom. I had been praying all week for God to help me get through to her somehow, and to bless our times together, especially since we only have one week left. Yesterday was a good day, too. I went and sat on her bed and talked to her for about an hour first thing in the morning, we went and saw a movie, and we went for a walk. Then today, I was supposed to go play tennis with my brother, Rick, at about 2:00, so I went in to weight myself about 10 minutes ago. Unfortunately, I had lost a few pounds from working in the mountains. I told Rick I couldn't play tennis, and then my Mom asked me why I wasn't. I told her I didn't weigh enough, according to her standards. She got fuming mad, yelled at me that I haven't been keeping my word, and stormed out of the room. I was so frustrated and upset that I screamed back at her. I am just so sick of this same conversation, over and over. Especially after I had such a great week. I just don't know how much longer I can stand being at home. I have prayed so hard and so long for my Mom and I to get along, and I feel like today we took another 3 steps backwards. I just don't understand how it is ever going to get any better. I know God desires for us to be close, but I am so sick of her trying to run every single thing in my life. I  am honestly trying to work on my weight so I can be healthier, but I get so frustrated when she yells at me. It was a huge step for me to say that I can't play tennis today, even though I love it so much. Just that alone shows how far God has helped me to come. But all she sees is the stupid number, and I am so sick of it. I think I need to leave my house right now and go somewhere alone. I need time to think and recuperate before I say something else that I will regret afterwards. Only God will be able to help me from completely blowing up at my Mom. Please pray that I can hold in y emotions and God can quiet my heart today.