Genuine Beauty

I think most women would say they are dissatisfied with their bodies in some sense. There are few women who have come to accept themselves for the beautiful creation that God made them. I am definitely one of those women who struggles daily to understand and accept that God made me the way that I am for a reason. I know He has a plan through my life, and that includes every detail of my life, every hair on my head, and every other part of my body. He wants me to be satisfied with the way He made me, and not try to change or go against His plan for me. I am currently reading a book called "Captivating" by Stasi Eldredge, and it is amazing how much it parallels what I am going through at this time. My struggle involves admitting to myself, and more importantly, to God, that I accept the way He created me, and I value my health more than my physical appearance. The devil has created lies that flood my head all day long and tell me that I am not thin enough, and gaining weight would change the opinions of everyone around me. I am slowly trying to fight against the lies that satan is telling me, and I know I can, with God's help. In 'Captivating", the author writes about the age-old question that every girl asks herself, and needs to answer, to become comfortable and accepting of her own beauty. Women ask themselves, "am I lovely?", or "Do people think I am beautiful?". Sadly, however, most women doubt that they even have beauty to unveil and be seen. I am definitely one who does not believe I am beautiful. For my entire life, my parents have told me I was beautiful, and my dad even calls me "gorgeous" at all times. Coming from them, however, I felt that it was a conditioned response- something they were required to say as parents. Somehow, no matter how many times I heard them tell me I was beautiful, I still sought after worldly beauty, which involved mainly being thin. I thrive on people telling me I look good, or that I am lucky to be so skinny. I never thought about the fact that by keeping myself thinner to fit the world's standards, I was going against God's desire for me. When we try and control things in our lives, we are refusing to trust that God is correct. By trying to keep myself thinner than what is healthy for my body, I am arguing that God did not create me in His image, and that I am perfect in His eyes. It has taken me a long time to reach the place where I can actually write and understand this concept, but I am beginning to see it more and more each day. God is amazing, and I can feel His presence so strongly in my life; guiding me to where I need to be to surrender all areas of my life to Him. Praise be to God, and His patience and understanding. Without it, I would be lost.