Chico!

(Written 8-6-08)
I have now arrived in Chico, and I am settling into my apartment! It is only Amy and I up here right now, but we are having a great time introducing her to my friends and hanging out. This new step in independence is new and exciting, and also fun so far. Tonight, we had some girls from CRU over for dinner, which was great, and definitely made us feel grown up. Having my own apartment and paying for everything on my own and managing my own money, definitely makes me feel so much more appreciative of all my parents have done, and continue to do for me. Just being here since Sunday, I have been amazed at how muh work it is! i can't even imagine not having the amazing support system growing up that I had. God blessed me with examples of godly parents and leaders of our house, and I am beginning to see how that will come into play in my future. I can't even begin to fathom what having my own family would be like, but I know God is using this time in my life to prepare me for whatever the road He has chosen for me is to come. Somedays, I feel as if I could run a household on my own, and have children soon, if God willed it, but then other days, I feel as if God is telling me to wait, and I feel I have so much to do before that time comes. Since coming to Chico again, my thoughts have wandered often to romantic aspects and wishes, and I can feel my girlish desires overtaking my usual peace and patience. If I think abut it logically, I know I am competent in being by myself, and I am usually trusting that God has an ultimate plan for my life. Other days, however, things as simple as a couple together, or a romantic movie will spark selfish desires and wants for a relationship that I do not usually have. There is still so much I feel God has for me to do before I am in a serious relationship, but at the same time, He continues to give me the desire to be in one. I will never understand these emotions of mine fully, or how they work, and I feel like the safest route for me currently would be to stay focused on what is currently my life, and leave the future entirely to God, where it rightfully should be.