Call Upon The Holy Spirit

I feel like I'm suffocating. I honestly feel like I have no control over my mind sometimes. The thoughts that plague me are so intense, and sometimes so unrelenting, that I feel they will never end. I feel sometimes like I am going through an addiction that I am trying to break, and failing. I know that these thoughts are put in my mind by satan, the ultimate liar and deceiver, but there is no way that I can stop them sometimes. I try and read the Bible and pray, but sometimes nothing seems to work. And the frustrating thing is that one minute, it feel fine and in control, but the next I am completely consumed with feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness. Tonight I couldn't even think of one good thing about my personality. All I could think about was the negative side of it, and wonder why anyone would want to be friend with me. Satan kept pounding into my head thoughts like, "Why would anyone hang out with you, you have such a dead personality?" which I feel is true so often. So many people in my life are so happy and energetic. and then there is me. I can be energetic sometimes, but it happens so rarely that I sometimes forget what it feels like to be joyful. That is how I feel right now. Nothing about me feels like it would be captivating or appealing to anybody, especially to a potential boyfriend. I feel so... unattractive and boring, both look wise and with my personality. I am so frustrated because I feel like I have been making so much progress in my attempts to combat this self image problem that satan has plagued me with, but then there are nights like tonight when I am so unsure about everything, and it feels like the walls all come crashing down on the foundation that I have been trying so hard to build up. I know God does not want me to feel this way, but it seems so hard to get past this right now. I just want to lay in my bed and cry, but then I think that I can't do that because then I would just gain weight...and then I would think of myself as even less attractive. It seems like I have entered a never-ending cycle that I can't get out of, without them help of my Lord and savior. I know He has given me the Holy Spirit for times such as this, and I pray that I would be able to find and use the spirit within me tonight, and on many night like this one to come.